TABOO TRUTHS

Is there such a thing?  According to my daughters, yes.

I want this blog to be a source of inspiration, reference and inquires.  In order for me to really convey the depth of our “mother-daughter(‘s)”  relationship, I feel it’s necessary to cover topics that are very personal and intimate.  Sharing my own journey and writing publicly about me is my own choice.  But sharing those moments or events I hold dear that I’ve experienced with my daughters?  That has to be a decision on our part.

While enjoying a cool evening on the deck and discussing the little trials of the day I asked,  “Would it be OK with you both if I wrote about some of the things that we’ve faced together?”  For example; Lindsay’s first sexual experience, one of her ex-boyfriends admitting he was gay, and her struggle realizing her mother is sexually active and used Nuva ring? Courtney’s life change move from Michigan to Virginia, her issues with potential heart problems and her revelations embarking on her first year of college?  They both agreed!  Just like that.  The trust and comfort level they feel is humbling.

In the days to come I’ll take you on  journey’s the three of us have embarked as mother and daughter, sisters and the power of three!  Which topic would you most like to hear about?

My youngest daughter ventured into the official working world this past week.  She is employed at Victoria Secret for the summer!  (Yes, I’ve already thought about the discount…but it’s for her only.  Maybe Mom needs a belated Mother’s Day gift?)  I’ve worked in retail myself and all hail those who have!  It’s hard work and hours that span into nights and weekends.

Courtney has always been a hard worker so I am confident that she would be an asset to any job she obtained.  However her attitude has been a bit dicey since her start date.  Ya see, the store started preparing for the Semi Annual Sale this past weekend!  She has been working 9-10 hour days until 1am.  Crash course on a new job, eh?  As a mother of a young adult guiding her through the adjustment of a new job and the responsibilities is just part of the job right?

This is one of those mother moments where my response was “SUCK IT UP!”  Now if my daughter was 15 years old, my response may have been a little…softer.  But with a 19 year old college student who needs to make money for spending this fall…time to smell (and drink) the coffee!  She will have a lifetime of pursuing what she loves.  But for now, money needs to be made!

Once her eyes cleared from the exhaustion her diligent personality has returned to pleasant.  And she is once again focused on the job at hand!

(Ok, ok…so I made her favorite homemade Mac N’ Cheese for dinner.  Cheese always helps

I must say even for a woman of independence and strength the past week has challenged my resolve.  The days were those that quake the knowledge of self belief.  Pushing waves of fear and confrontation that fill you until your throat continuously contracts just to keep it down!  I am not one to avoid challenges but for some time now my life is abundant with such waves.  It’s unsettling and as a woman my desire is to curl up into a ball (preferably with Ben & Jerry’s Creme Brulee ice cream…) and not move for hours.

In the mist of such unrest small whispers of “bubble gum” appear.  Remember when you were young and your saliva glands exploded when you first bit down on that chunk of bubble gum?  It was a moment of simple joy.  The taste and smell…joy!   On my way to work yesterday morning fresh from a relaxing and calm holiday weekend, my mind was consumed wondering what speed bumps, fences or walls will appear that I must conquer?  Suddenly there was a burst of color overhead.  Three hot air balloons were making their decent in my path as I came to my familiar traffic light on 29.  In Michigan hot air balloon sightings are very common!  There are festivals dedicated to them and are a beauty to behold.  I’ve since noticed that there are novices here in Virginia as well.  It made me smile and reminisce.  I’ve had the pleasure of riding twice in my life.  It was serene and spectacular! The silence of their way, the rare burst of hot power, the graphic colors that pepper the sky as they caress the clouds.

Amazing that in my moment of life that is a long dark hall leading to unknown discoveries, such a simply joy made me forget.  Even for a few minutes…enjoying the sight and feeling my heart lightened, calmed me.  If in those moments we can recognize a simple joy of life…maybe things are as bad as they seem?